OK, I admit it: I'm a crank. All kinds of stuff bugs the living crap out of me: whistling, loud talkers, Seann William Scott... There are, however, some things that annoy other people that really don't irritate me at all. Allow me to pat myself on my curmudgeonly back.
1. Subway preachers. I kind of enjoy being stuck in a train car with these people, because they're often West Indian women with really nice accents. Sure, they tell me I'm bound for eternal damnation, but they sound so cool when they do it.
2. Nails on a chalkboard. That sound that can make a whole classroom full of fourth graders cower under their desks? No effect on me. (Styrofoam packing noodles rubbed on bus windows, however...)
2. Nails on a chalkboard. That sound that can make a whole classroom full of fourth graders cower under their desks? No effect on me. (Styrofoam packing noodles rubbed on bus windows, however...)
3. Waking up before 7 am on a weekend. In college, I rarely dragged my butt out of bed before noon on a Sunday. (Granted, I rarely went to sleep before 2 am.) Now, if I sleep past 9 I feel somehow cheated. Few things make me happier than getting up early, beating the crowds at the bagel store and feeling the day stretch out wide ahead of me.
4. Lousy weather. Heat wave? Cold snap? Hail the size of Nerf basketballs? Bring it. As they say in Minnesota (where I occasionally pretend I am from), there's no such thing as bad weather — only bad clothes. Plus, blizzards, downpours and the like make staying indoors acceptable, and I'll take any excuse to indulge my agoraphobic tendencies.
5. Longwinded old people. If you want to spend 40 minutes rambling on about something that happened to you in 1935, I'm your audience.
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