Ah, rudeness: you can't live in the big city without slamming up against it. If I had any guts whatsoever, I'd confront the impolite people around me and make them see the error of their ways. But since I don't, I'm left to fantasize about handing them little cards that express my dismay. Por ejemplo:
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12 comments:
Ha! Genius! I'd add:
"It is not cool to treat your wait person like that."
"No, really, I enjoy listening you scream into the phone while I eat."
"Thanks for parking so far over the line, asshole. I enjoyed crawling over the stick shift from the passenger side in a dress to get into my car."
In addition to your excellent ones, here are a couple more, all driving related.
1. By all means, cut me off. Your time is no doubt more valuable than mine.
2. An Escalade/Navigator/4Runner is not a compact car.
I'd like to print a card that says "You need therapy."
I so wish I had the nerve to do this as well.
oh, I totally wish I had a stack of these!
Alyson's #2 - YES! Also, a Dodge Charger or any car with a hemi - NOT a compact. Also, I"m sorry, it may be a small SUV, but that's not a compact car.
Hilarious!
I'd also like ones that just said, "Really?" but I'd need a huge stack of those.
Nervous, that is a fantastic idea. I'll go in on it with you and we'll order thousands!
When John first met Yoko, she handed him a card with one word printed on it: Breathe.
I know someone who just had cards made that said in tiny all caps "STOP TALKING" - specifically to give to another someone who does just the opposite all the time (especially when slightly intoxicated). I hope I'm there to witness when the first card exchange takes place.
"Just because it happened to you doesn't make it interesting."*
"The rules of etiquette, and, more importantly, responsible & loving parenting, would suggest that you remove your screaming child from this public place."
"Being a frequent customer does not make you (a) a good customer, or (b) my friend."
* my ex-bartender friend, who actually said this to people.
I am amazed by your frequent utterance of the word "amazing"!
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