It's hard to say what's best about charity 5K runs: the exercise, the supporting of a worthy cause, or the swag you get at the after party. Below, some highlights (and lowlights) of a recent haul.
1. A tote bag. The way they give out totes these days, they're practically as big an environmental menace as the plastic they were meant to replace. This came in handy on race day when I needed something to carry all my free crap. In the future, however, I am unlikely to run around town sporting a bag that says "Sensible Portions" on it.
2. A Womentum T-shirt. Let's be honest: Womentum is not a great slogan. How do you even pronounce it? Whoa-mentum? Wimmin-tum? Whatever. The shirt is ill-fitting and destined for Goodwill.
3. A medal. Unless you have some sort of display case for your, um, medals, I can see no earthly use for this. That said: I did wear it home on the subway because really, how often does one get to wear a medal?
4. A mini box of granola. Score! Any breakfast food with dark chocolate in it is OK by me.
5. Minute Rice. OK, this was cool: the rice booth had a wheel you could spin to win fabulous prizes, including magnets, measuring cups and, of course, rice. I hit the big time, people. Also part of this package: a Quick & Easy Minute Rice cookbook, featuring such family favorites as Cheesy Tuna Dinner and Porcupine Meatballs (with real porcupine! OK, I made that part up).
6. A change purse. This is actually fairly useful as it can hold a credit card, keys, etc. and clip on to your shorts when you run. It came with a free one-week pass to Lucille Roberts, that gym that only allows ladies.
7. A nail buffer. And not just any nail buffer: this one promises "400% shinier nails in just 10 seconds." Jeez, how shiny would they be if you buffed for 20 seconds? (That involves math so I'll leave it to you to figure out.)
8. Lipstick. The shade: Wink for Pink. It seems to be the exact color Barbie wears. This will sit unused in my makeup basket for about two years until I remember that you're supposed to chuck your cosmetics after six months or you'll get leprosy.
6 comments:
Didn't you get bananas? I freakin' hate bananas and they are always standing there, handing them to you like they are some *prize.* And what is with the ill fitting t-shirts? You're giving them to people who RUN. So, let's have some shape, ok?
Hmmm, oddly, there were no bananas. No plain water at the end, either -- only that Hint stuff (with a "hint" of fruit juice).
I think they should stop giving out tees altogether.
Shirts they give out at races suck! They are always terrible colors or way too big or full of logos. I wear mine to sleep in and even then they seem garish. Alas.
I'm so into the fact that you scored minute rice *and* a swank Lucille Roberts purse. Amazing and totally worth it.
One could guess that the relationship between time and shininess is linear, so 20 seconds of buffing should result in nails that are 800% shinier.
The flaw with this reasoning is that there's an obvious maximum to the level of shininess - i.e. once your nails become a perfect mirror capable of operating as part of the Hubble telescope, there's nowhere else to go.
My guess is that the Revlon people have figured out that after 10 seconds the best you can do is to introduce a scratch into your craziest shiniest nails.
Also, I find that lipstick color frightening.
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